Graeme & Graham

This is a love story, it is a story of companionship, a story about the supernatural. It is also a short story due to a lack of creative writing skills and impetus on the part of the writer.

There once was a man named Graeme. He was a lonely man. Uninteresting, unremarkable and unreservedly dull. Graeme lived in a single bed apartment, working the graveyard shift in a post office. In a sudden fit of creative thinking, Graeme decided that he could dramatically improve his life by finding a companion.

A girlfriend was not a realistic proposition as Graeme was not particularly attractive, financially successful or at all charismatic. So, he decided to purchase himself a cat. The cat in question was a tiny black kitten, which appeared to take kindly to Graeme, unlike any other kind of pussy.

Upon getting the feline home, Graeme set about the long-winded task of naming it. After hours of researching popular cat names and other human names, he had a eureka moment. He would name the cat after himself. This did present a problem insofar as it would cause confusion between the two in an unlikely event he had a visitor at the address. Naturally, Graeme’s substandard intellect allowed him to conclude that he would change the name slightly, thus differentiating between the pair. So, the cat was named Graham.

Graham was no ordinary cat. He was a supernatural being, with incredible superpowers. He had the ability to fly, to make himself invisible and to control the minds of his victims. These powers placed him on a par with traditional superheroes such as Superman, Spiderman and your local binman (they are heroes too everyone!). Such unimaginable power being given to one being would of course change the world forever… or not, as it happened.

Because Graham was an arrogant bastard, like all cats, he was extremely preoccupied with doing all of the douchey cat things. Cat things like waggling his disgusting arsehole in Graeme’s face, eating foul smelling jellied food and killing moths for sport. Caught up in all of these things, he never realised he had powers. No one else did either. Graham lived his life as a normal cat.  Then he died and Graeme was sad. Then Graham died shortly after.

The end.

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